Digital Collage
''Losing''
Digital Collage
61cm x 91cm
14 September 2016
Digital Collage
61cm x 91cm
14 September 2016
Exhibition Text
Title: ''Losing''
Medium: Digital Collage-Adobe Photoshop CS6
Size: 61cm x 91cm
Date: September 14, 2016
This piece was made to represent my Depression. I Wanted to depict the sadness and the visual face expression that I had when I was younger. My piece shows how my mentality rests on the weak limbs of a tree branch and how the concept of time for me was frozen. My finished piece was influenced by Salvador Dalí work of "The Persistence of Memory" because this piece really resonates with me. I had a connected to this piece made during the surrealism period. My piece was made in Adobe Photoshop and I collected a variety of images that I used for my finished work.
Medium: Digital Collage-Adobe Photoshop CS6
Size: 61cm x 91cm
Date: September 14, 2016
This piece was made to represent my Depression. I Wanted to depict the sadness and the visual face expression that I had when I was younger. My piece shows how my mentality rests on the weak limbs of a tree branch and how the concept of time for me was frozen. My finished piece was influenced by Salvador Dalí work of "The Persistence of Memory" because this piece really resonates with me. I had a connected to this piece made during the surrealism period. My piece was made in Adobe Photoshop and I collected a variety of images that I used for my finished work.
Essay
When I was in 4th grade, I was threatened by a 5th-grade bully. He threatened to hurt my family. As a 4th grader, I was petrified because I didn't know what to do or who to go to. I believed him and I believed he could hurt my family. Even though he was only a year of two older than me, he seemed adult-like. He was taller and his voice was deep - at least to a 4th grader.
I didn't go to anyone for help. Not knowing what to do, I kept the threat to myself. I truly believed he could hurt my family. I've never told anyone about my deep fear until now.
I avoided the 5th grader and it wasn't too long before he was expelled for bringing a bb gun to school. To this day, I don't know the motive behind why he threatened me or verbally attacked me. But, I felt relieved he was gone and a sense of safety that he was gone.
While this incident happened a long time ago, I realized I should not have kept the situation to myself and told someone so the problem could have been avoided. Nothing bad can happen from getting help from adults. However, I didn't know that at the time.
Even though the bully was gone, the bullying continued - from my friends. We would be joking around, but I often took it seriously. I was a sensitive kid because I wanted friends and people to talk to. I wanted someone to partner with on a project and I wanted someone to sit next to on the bus. Usually, the teacher assigned someone to work with me and usually I sat next to the teacher on the bus. They said I was annoying.
As 7th grade came around and new words that would spread anger like a wildfire in my mind. I started being called annoying and a twig I was so physically and mentally impacted by these words that I would start working out every day due to my self-esteem dropping. I only worked out so that I could stop getting thrown down for my slimness. imagine how bad these words are to me if I have never ever used them since I was bullied. The only way for me to cope with this is to drift all thoughts that are relevant to my negative past out of my mind. Now I was so depressed at this time I didn't know where I wanted to be and as long it was away from people and home I didn't care. It got worse because I didn't know how to cope with the pain when I was young and that was the worst part. This came to be me not talking anymore and skipping lunch.
I made a vow from that moment on that for the sake of my future that I would not focus and dwell on the past and that I would stay positive for the rest of my life. this started to happen in the middle of 8th grade where my life changed and turned around for the better. I was older and was more able to change my fate and life and this was my biggest goal in life. I reminded me of me back when I never had to experience all that pain and was happy. I started coming back home with a smile on my face. I was content and since then I have been the same ball of joy and energy now. I have grown so much from that experience that I probably wouldn't have been the same person without that depression as I am now. I love who I am and I'm proud of it and would never change who I am even if that means not having the ADHD and the depression I had to live with. I have learned to live life with this illness and accept my difference and adapt with it.
I didn't go to anyone for help. Not knowing what to do, I kept the threat to myself. I truly believed he could hurt my family. I've never told anyone about my deep fear until now.
I avoided the 5th grader and it wasn't too long before he was expelled for bringing a bb gun to school. To this day, I don't know the motive behind why he threatened me or verbally attacked me. But, I felt relieved he was gone and a sense of safety that he was gone.
While this incident happened a long time ago, I realized I should not have kept the situation to myself and told someone so the problem could have been avoided. Nothing bad can happen from getting help from adults. However, I didn't know that at the time.
Even though the bully was gone, the bullying continued - from my friends. We would be joking around, but I often took it seriously. I was a sensitive kid because I wanted friends and people to talk to. I wanted someone to partner with on a project and I wanted someone to sit next to on the bus. Usually, the teacher assigned someone to work with me and usually I sat next to the teacher on the bus. They said I was annoying.
As 7th grade came around and new words that would spread anger like a wildfire in my mind. I started being called annoying and a twig I was so physically and mentally impacted by these words that I would start working out every day due to my self-esteem dropping. I only worked out so that I could stop getting thrown down for my slimness. imagine how bad these words are to me if I have never ever used them since I was bullied. The only way for me to cope with this is to drift all thoughts that are relevant to my negative past out of my mind. Now I was so depressed at this time I didn't know where I wanted to be and as long it was away from people and home I didn't care. It got worse because I didn't know how to cope with the pain when I was young and that was the worst part. This came to be me not talking anymore and skipping lunch.
I made a vow from that moment on that for the sake of my future that I would not focus and dwell on the past and that I would stay positive for the rest of my life. this started to happen in the middle of 8th grade where my life changed and turned around for the better. I was older and was more able to change my fate and life and this was my biggest goal in life. I reminded me of me back when I never had to experience all that pain and was happy. I started coming back home with a smile on my face. I was content and since then I have been the same ball of joy and energy now. I have grown so much from that experience that I probably wouldn't have been the same person without that depression as I am now. I love who I am and I'm proud of it and would never change who I am even if that means not having the ADHD and the depression I had to live with. I have learned to live life with this illness and accept my difference and adapt with it.
Artist Inspiration
I made my piece based on the essay I made that explains my past. So using this information I found Salvador Dalí and I saw what reflections I could make my piece based off him and his artwork. My inspiration piece is "The Persistence of Memory" by Salvador Dalí in 1931 of Surrealism art. He was known for his surrealist paintings during the surrealism period. One of his most famous pieces is "The Persistence of Memory" with the melting pocket watches and the landscape in the background. He Describes his paintings as "hand painted dream photographs". My piece in comparison to my artist inspiration is similar to the clocks he had that represent memory in his piece and it represents the same In mine. The droopy dead tree in my piece represents the structure supporting my positivity and how it's hanging on its last limb. the tree is similar to the dead tree in my artist inspiration piece. The desk in my piece represents how I obtained my depression from the bullying in school. The desk is similar to the table in Salvador Dalí piece. With my piece instead of the desert, I put my images on a lake so that there not melting by the heat of the sun and so I can depict the water as sadness. Although I mainly used "The Persistence of Memory" by Salvador Dalí for my piece I also used another art piece of his for my collage called "Illumined Pleasures" by Salvador Dalí. I used the effect of a picture inside a picture that "Illumined Pleasures" by Salvador Dalí had by having me and a desk inside a clock. I used his ideas in "Illumined Pleasures" as for how he had random objects in a plain area, so what I did was put a tree on a beach in a lake. This piece has a deeper meaning and it is up to the eye of the beholder to discover it. Based off these comparisons this is how I made my piece.
BrainstormingFirst I brain stormed ideas on what I wanted to make my piece based on:
Planning
Planning Sketches The first thing I needed to do is make some planning sketches of what my digital collage will look like. they weren't heavily detailed because I was just brainstorming ideas so I can build off of them. With my planning sketches, I wanted to use similar objects for all three of them just with different layouts. this was because I was really caught on my digital collage representing my emotion through Photoshop. Planning sketch #1 is me in a clock standing over a lake with a dead tree in the background. My plan for planning sketch #2 was for me to be inside a clock at a desk and have a window on the clock with a dead tree behind the window. My plan for planning sketch #3 was to have me on a lake but the lake is also a fading clock and the dead tree in the background.
Collecting Images
I took all of these photos that I thought related to my planning sketches The Meaning
Throughout this collage, I express what the meaning of this piece is. This piece symbolizes my depression and how I have a translucent memory of it. It shows the sadness I have inside me and just like a clock it never stops. as a kid in middle school, I was a very depressed kid and I wasn't social. I was always down and feeling gloomy. The dead tree hanging onto its last limbs is actually hanging onto the last of me as I fade away. I did have suicidal thoughts in middle school and the dead tree holding me represents how much sanity I had left in me to not commit suicide. I had the will to survive I didn't want to die so that tree also represents my will to live. How I'm over a null ocean can depict that I was lonely. I no one there for me and I always fought with my dad and I was always getting bullied in school. So all I had was myself. I was in a dark place and didn't know what to do with my depression which is the reason why everything is gray. The string holding the two branches of the tree together represents how I could have fixed and learned how to ignore people and cope with the sadness but how I didn't know how to at that time of my life. All I knew was how to cry and hide in my closet so I could avoid all the Calamity that was made of my life. the logs and the pile of branches next to the tree represent the pieces of my life that I enjoyed and the sanity that I used to have. Now I have two branches of sanity left and the rest are blowing in the breeze. These branches are now memories that I've lost forever because they ended up as firewood scraped never being born into this world again. Now the thoughts left In my head are corrupted and only bring me down. So I try to leave these thoughts in the deepest parts of my mind but they never go away. I can never focus like a normal human being because of my ADHD. so I'm always going to be damaged inside like a clock that's a minute slow because I'll always be behind of everyone else trying to keep catching up.
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Creating Process
First I made a canvas that was 24 by 36 and opened it up in Photoshop and then I took all the collected images that I wanted and I started cropping them out and refining their edges. I then used the lasso tool to take the image of a school clock and put it on my collage first. I put it up on the right corner and I was going to do more with it later. I then used the lasso tool to cut the image of me sitting at a desk and I put it on the clock. There were edges that were sticking out of the clock, so I photoshopped it to make it look like I was on the clock. Then for the tree, I had to Use the lasso to go around the tree and really refine the edges myself so I can get rid of the blue sky around the tree in the photo. then I added as for the background of my piece the picture of the beach I took one evening.
Experimentation
So this is where I started distorting my picture by playing with the puppet warp tool. I used it on the tree and warped it to make it hold the clock. This was to make the tree look like it was holding the clock over the lake. Then I distorted the clock to make it look like it was drooping and melting from the tree. Then I wanted to see the entire face of the clock but I still wanted me to be seen inside the clock. So I found out how to make me transparent enough to where I will still be noticeable and the entire clock face will still be seen as well. I also did this so it didn't look like I'm actually sitting on the clock. Lastly, I didn't want it to be colorful because that looks too happy to me. So I found out how to grayscale my final piece with research online and I turned everything gray so that I can really depict the sad gloomy expression that I was going for in this piece.
Reflection
This piece is titled "Losing" which represents my life as a kid and how that time and memory is lost with depression and sadness. For this piece, I used Adobe Photoshop CS6 which became very helpful due to the limited resources that I have. The artist inspiration for this piece was "The Persistence of Memory" by Salvador Dalí. The focus of this piece is to depict my depression and insanity while in school as a kid. All of my photos were taken by me and the "The Persistence of Memory" photo was taken off a website that I have cited. What I've learned is that you got to stay on task to produce a finished piece on time and I didn't fully do that. I struggled with my ideas and didn't settle in until the last minute. I wanted to put a lot more work and ideas into this but I ran out of time. I also learned that you need to take your time with puppet warp because it is easy to really unrealistically distort your image. I lastly wish my tree wasn't floating on the ocean but since I didn't get a photo of the beach I just used the ocean instead. Although making these mistakes I have to give me some credit because I am new to Photoshop and everything that came with this assignment. So for the finished product that I have done with the little knowledge that I have, I did a good job that I am satisfied with.
Researching
I researched a bit on google for help on Adobe Photoshop
How to Grayscale on Adobe Photoshop CS5- http://www.wikihow.com/Grayscale-and-Crop-in-Photoshop-CS5 |
Connecting to ACT:
1. Identify cause and effect relationships between your inspiration and your artwork.
Because I wanted to show my past and depression though the image of time passing. Dali inspired me with how he showed the entire picture of time. I used the clocks inn my piece in correlation to Dali's piece to depict my viewpoint of time.
2. What is the overall approach the author has regarding the topic of your inspiration?
In "Losing" my overall approach was to show my depression that I had as a kid and how I was really down during school. that was time that was lost bringing up my inspiration artist and his piece in relation to image of time.
3. What kind of generalizations and conclusions have you discovered about people, ideas, cultures, etc. while you researched your inspiration?
I learned that running and hiding from our fears isn't the right thing to do but its the one that we are more conformable do because of change and the surpassing the limits people have. while researching on my artists piece his piece shows his perspective of time and memory.
4. What was the central idea or theme around your inspirational research?
My central idea was the concept of time and waste of life that I connected from Dalí's surrealism pieces. I mainly looked at him because of his movement style and the mysterious expressions they give me. I wanted something that I could connect with memory and the past, and Dalí's art "The Persistence of Memory"
5. What kind of inferences did you make while reading your research?
I found out many people can decipher different view points on one similar topic due to the variety of mindsets people have. in this case what people see in my piece in comparison to what I see in my piece. also that people can make predictions on what a piece is about to common comparisons like clocks representing time.
Because I wanted to show my past and depression though the image of time passing. Dali inspired me with how he showed the entire picture of time. I used the clocks inn my piece in correlation to Dali's piece to depict my viewpoint of time.
2. What is the overall approach the author has regarding the topic of your inspiration?
In "Losing" my overall approach was to show my depression that I had as a kid and how I was really down during school. that was time that was lost bringing up my inspiration artist and his piece in relation to image of time.
3. What kind of generalizations and conclusions have you discovered about people, ideas, cultures, etc. while you researched your inspiration?
I learned that running and hiding from our fears isn't the right thing to do but its the one that we are more conformable do because of change and the surpassing the limits people have. while researching on my artists piece his piece shows his perspective of time and memory.
4. What was the central idea or theme around your inspirational research?
My central idea was the concept of time and waste of life that I connected from Dalí's surrealism pieces. I mainly looked at him because of his movement style and the mysterious expressions they give me. I wanted something that I could connect with memory and the past, and Dalí's art "The Persistence of Memory"
5. What kind of inferences did you make while reading your research?
I found out many people can decipher different view points on one similar topic due to the variety of mindsets people have. in this case what people see in my piece in comparison to what I see in my piece. also that people can make predictions on what a piece is about to common comparisons like clocks representing time.